“You look tired,” I said to the young woman scanning my groceries.
I’m not one to just spit out the question, “How are you?” Maybe because I know people just say what they think you want to hear.
“Oh, I AM tired,” she responded a little surprised. “I haven’t slept in days.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“We’ve had 3 break-ins in the past couple of weeks. I’m afraid to sleep.”
Her words pierced my heart
“How awful.” I replied. “Why don’t you move?”
I knew after I asked this young woman my question, it wasn’t a good one. If she could have moved, she would have.
“I can’t afford to,” she said, confirming my thoughts.
And so I asked, “May I pray for you?”
A big smile covered her face. “I would love that.”
She finished scanning my groceries and we exchanged email addresses.
“I’ll pray,” I promised, as I left with my daughter.
Clutching her email address, which she scribbled on my receipt, I tucked it into my pocket.
I’m so glad I took a minute to talk to her. I’m so glad that I saw her.
Too often, we look at people but we don’t see them. Tweet That.
One time at a function, someone asked my husband the traditional, “How are you?”
Mike didn’t miss a beat, “Rotten,” he responded.
But the person kept talking without a pause.
No one heard my tiny gasp. Mike grinned at me.
The way things were
I liked it better when people talked to each other.
I’m trying in my own way to bring that back. Like that day with Tequila.
She actually did email me a few days later. I knew it was her, she was the only Tequila I had ever met.
“My mom named me,” she had explained at the store…”everyone always asks me about my name,” she smiled. She had a sparkle in her brown eyes.
Her email warmed my heart:
“I want to thank you so much for talking to me that day. It really encouraged me and gave me hope. I could tell you and your daughter must know God. Thanks again. P.S. Please don’t forget to pray for me.”
And so I wrote Tequila back, asking her a couple questions. Do you have a lease? How big a place do you need?
Maybe the mission I knew in town could help her.
Someone needed to help her
But I didn’t hear back from Tequila.
And weeks turned into months, and those months turned into a year or more.
My husband and I finished watching a mindless sitcom when he asked, “Can we please watch the news, just for a few minutes? I need some reality TV.”
“Sure,” I said, biting my tongue. He knew I hated watching the news.
Finally the Anchorman shared one story that caused me to jump off the couch and run to my computer.
It was a name I had not forgotten.
Typing the name into my computer, my stomach tied in knots. Up popped my emails with Tequila.
I trudged into the living room.
It was Tequila. The woman they just found in a dumpster.
I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach.
She stayed on my mind for days. And this is what I’ve come away with.
People feel invisible
See that person in front of you? The one who’s scanning your groceries?
You have no idea what she’s going through. Nor do you know what your neighbor faces each day.
We need to open our eyes and make eye contact. We need to see others around us. To let them know we see them.
Someone may just need to talk.
Someone like Tequila.
If you like the post, please share. You never know who it might help.
Wow! This touched my heart deeply in multiple ways. Thanks. I will be sharing it.
Danielle,
Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. Glad you were touched.
i really am touched of your article anne. sometimes, we are not consistent and sensitive enough of what others feel, what they are going through, that without us noticing it, they are already in danger… if at the moment, there is something concrete we can do to get somebody out of danger, we should, before we be sorry later. tequila’s case needed an urgent action, but who would know she will end a tragic death thereafter… sometimes, we’re slow in making decision, but that precious moment you had to converse with her made an impact in her that she asked you then not to forget praying for her…
Thank you Jophie for your comment. I’m sorry I am getting back so late. My granddaughter went to be with Jesus March 11th, 2016 and this is a difficult time for all of us.
Thanks Anne for sharing your article….. we truly need to give a listening ear and pray for the people who need us.. I have always been telling people I will pray for them, BUT most of the time I forget to pray for them in my personal prayer…… NOW I decided,after reading your article, I will pray for them then and there. Thanks once again for a thought provoking article.
Assu,
Thank you for your comment. I’ve learned it’s too easy to forget. Besides that, I want my word to be trusted. If I say I’ll pray, I want to pray. but I know it’s easy to forget as well. This way works better for me.
Sorry to say but I ‘m the one who at times feels rotten” yet says “fine”. Will now be more honest depending on who is asking. Thank you.
I was guilty of saying “fine” for years Barb. I’m writing about that in a book I’m working on.
Unfortunately I think “Christians” are the biggest offenders. We are quick to expect ourselves and others to say we are okay when we are not. Somehow translating sadness and happiness 2 emotions God made us with is confused with Joy from the Lord. I have been exposed to this so often I am very conscious of it now. They are exclusive of each other. My joy from the Lord is His gift and I treasure it guard it but as a human I can have emotion of sadness or happiness because of life happening.
Corena,
I believe you’re right. I think we can tell if someone is genuinely interested pretty quickly, but unfortunately that may have been the day we really needed someone to empathize with us. Our joy is from the Lord. Sometimes I wish people would just be okay with others being transparent. Some are. And they are a treasure to know and you can bet they are open. Those who are open will find others are drawn to them. We all need that safe place to fall.
You never know what a difference that time makes – although this was a tragic story in the end, your time must have made such a difference to her.