The holidays are approaching. Tis the season for giving, right? Many people know how to give. But there are times we find ourselves thinking we are giving, when we’re not.

How to be an authentic giver is a tricky thing, but one I’d like to address, because like some of you, there have been times I thought I was giving, and came to find out I wasn’t.

Is there some way to really know if we’re authentic in our giving?

Motives reveal our hearts

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You could ask yourself, why am I giving to this person, organization, cause?

If you truly feel led to give and there is no hidden motive, then go ahead. You can give an amount you feel is right, you can ask God for guidance and direction, but if you feel you are to give, give.

Some give out of obligation. They give because it’s expected. Maybe they even give out of guilty feelings.

None of those reasons are the right reasons for giving.

When someone gives because it’s expected, eventually resentment may enter in. If you find yourself wondering how long you’re expected to give, you are there.

Some push back their feelings and give anyway.

What do you expect?

Another way to know if you are giving authentically is to ask yourself if you have any strings attached.

These strings are not always visible, but they’re there nonetheless.

Have you ever given to someone who did not seem appreciative? That happened to Jesus as well. He healed ten men, but only one came back to say thank you.

He could have said, “That’s it. If they can’t be grateful, they don’t deserve what I have to offer.

I’m so glad that wasn’t the Lord’s attitude. The truth is, none of us deserve all that God gives us.

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When we forget that, we have expectations. We may even get to the point where we feel entitled.

If you’ve prayed for something and God has not granted your request, how is your heart then? If you struggle with anger, you could have a spirit of entitlement seeping in.

It is great when you give and the recipient is thankful. But it is not a requirement for giving. And if it is for you, then maybe a string of expectation is hanging off your gift.

Should we give if the person feels entitled? We need to consider Jesus in that case.

We want to learn how to give and not how to trade.

I give to you and you owe me. It’s a system of checks and balances. We have to keep records.

True giving

Photo courtesy Michael Peterson

God talks about how we’re to give. Read Luke 6:38. Giving wholeheartedly. Wouldn’t that be a better way to give?

We’re also given further instructions in Matthew 6:3. Giving like that is in response to God’s prompting. My family has been the recipient of such giving and it was drenched in grace.

We were stationed in Germany and we were enjoying a winter day. I hate winter, but I love my son. Nathan and I were on a sled going downhill fast. My husband Mike wanted to take a picture. I realized we were headed straight for a barbed wire fence. I did the only thing I could do, realizing there were no brakes on the sled. I put my hand down to stop it and we toppled off. I broke my finger, but my child didn’t get hurt. I won.

We left our hotel room and were on our way to the local doctor’s office. We opened our door to find a chocolate bar with German marks tucked inside. And that paid for the doctor. Generosity. It touched our hearts. And just a side note. My husband never got the picture!

I love anonymous givers. It’s pretty obvious there are no strings attached to their gifts. No name tags either.

One Christmas, every day for 8 days there was a gift sent to us. A fleece blanket, candles, all beautiful gifts. And the giver? Someone who wanted to bless us anonymously. They loved God and it bubbled over into their giving.

Jesus is one of the greatest givers of all time.

Read John 3:16.God loved the world and sacrificed his son knowing some would not believe.

That’s a hard thing to wrap our heads around.

Would you want what you are giving?

Sometimes we say we’re giving, but we’re really just getting rid of something. I wrote about this in a previous article. You can read it here.

We give something we no longer value, and even expect gratefulness, knowing we were just gonna throw it out anyway. That is not giving.

I know someone who work in a thrift shop, geared to help those in need.

“You would not believe the things that people drop off,” Mandy told me. “Things that are not fit for anyone.”

We are told to give as if we were giving to Christ. Read Matthew 25:37-40. Jesus was explaining he was hungry and thirsty and no one gave to him. He explained giving to those in need is like giving to him.

It’s contagious too. When we taste God’s grace and how much he’s given us, it affects us deeply.

Giving is the evidence of God working in us

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Read 1 John 3:17. We can see someone in need and we feel stirred. We have the option to respond or to shut our compassions up. The more we recognize how much God loves us, the more we’ll want to pass that love on.

When we were kids we didn’t really want to share our parents affections, did we? But our heavenly Father has so much love he can love me completely, love you completely and still have love to give others.

His love never runs out. And if we would trust him, he would provide so we could share with others and know God’s generosity.

Authentic giving is possible. It is giving as God would have us give. In fact, one time our Bible teacher explained the verse 2 Corinthians 9:7. God loves a giver who is free. Lois said he loves a hilarious giver.

I have heard stories of how people will go through a drive through line and pay for the person behind them. Others will leave large tips. Those are hilarious givers. They are giving out of a heart full of love.

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This post was originally published on P.S I Love You.