I Sang my Song for Nothing (Five minute Friday)
(I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker today to take part in her “5 Minute Fridays,” The word is song).
What was I thinking?
I didn’t sing like some of the others. I liked singing, but I wasn’t that good. I’d never make it.
Looking at my sheet music of the song, Strangers in the Night, I remembered the part I had to redo. I had started the song too low.
A few days later I pushed the mediocre try-out out of my mind as I inched toward the posting of who made it.
And there was MY name listed among the others. I made it! I would be in the high school musical!
I had to remind myself to breathe. This was definitely the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. Finally I felt like I was fitting in.
Running through the door I threw my books down and looked for mom.
“Mom, guess what? I made it. I tried out for the musical and I was chosen!”
I waited for her smile, I longed for her acceptance. But some things never come no matter how much we want them.
She barely looked up as she said,
“Who told you you could try out for the musical? I never said you could do it. Now you go back to school and tell them you can’t be in it.”
I heard the sound of something breaking. It was my dream of fitting in, of being like the other kids.
There was no talking mom into things. Once she decided something it was set in stone.
So, the next day I obeyed. And months later I wiped off tears as I sat watching my friends perform the musical without me.
It would be a pattern I’d have to someday break. Of being an observer of my own life, instead of a participator. Of hearing a song, instead of singing.
About Anne Peterson
I write words you can feel, sometimes they rhyme. If I'm not writing, I'm telling stories from my head, to little ones who call me grandma.